Good Mourning

"Love must be sincere... Be devoted to one another in brotherly love... patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with God's people who are in need... mourn with those who mourn." Romans 12:9-15

I used to think that when someone was grieving, it was my job to try to cheer them up. When I lost my father, I was able to understand this passage better. When we lose someone close to us, it creates an emptiness within us. Even if we know the departed is in a better place, we still feel a loss.

Why does Paul say to mourn with those who mourn? What is the benefit in this?

"When Job's three friends, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite and Zophar the Naamathite, heard about all the troubles that had come upon him, they set out from their homes and met together by agreement to go and sympathize with him and comfort him. When they saw him from a distance, they could hardly recognize him; they began to weep aloud, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads. Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was." Job 2:11-13

Job's friends started off right. For seven days they shared with Job in his suffering.

When we grieve over the loss of a loved one, we are grieving over the loss of a close relationship; the intimacy we share, the love, sharing of ideas, shared activities, all over. We grieve about the time we wasted, of what could have been, our twisted priorities.

When we cry with those we love, we are agreeing with their suffering. We are acknowledging the greatness of their loss. We are saying you have a right to weep. We have lost a wonderful person.

When someone experiences a loss, the best thing we can do is give them a hug and say, "I'm sorry."

-Jay Crook